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entrance wound



"I met the tree long ago and have remained a slave to its song. And now it is bringing me back from the dead. My life is within the wood. Against the grain, but within the wood. I am an agnostic about God. I can believe in God but I can never trust him. I waste no time on prayers, not a single moment do I spare for such a thing. It is not that I think prayers go unanswered, I actually have no idea. It is that I refuse to listen to such answers. They cannot be enough to explain what I see. I will not be cajoled into accepting the hurt. I refuse such blandishments. The hurt is real, and the answered prayers are not enough, not nearly enough. I can live the sin, aspire to the virtue, lust for grace. I am a fallen man and I know it, and I accept the torture of living this fact. But I will be damned -- and they say I will surely be damned -- if I accept God’s answer. So I do not pray, nor do I worship. I can love, I can comfort. I am the tree struggling in the hot ground of my desert. No bended knee and please no messages from on high. The messages must come from here, from the ground itself or away with them. That is what I learn from mesquite, my brother-in-arms."
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blues for cannibals: the notes from underground
charles bowden


Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
pala2323
Aug. 10th, 2005 01:30 am (UTC)
Now that i must say was an interesting read indeed.


Mesquite is a part of life here in texas. We cook with it for BBQ's, and we use it for firewood, although not so much for fire-wood; as it is far better used for grilling on the BBQ!

tamar
Aug. 14th, 2005 03:28 am (UTC)
isn't there also a town called mesquite?
supersafonova
Aug. 10th, 2005 05:29 am (UTC)
good reading, i liked that
the verve are they still together?
tamar
Aug. 14th, 2005 03:31 am (UTC)
i'm not sure. didn't the singer go solo?
1punky4u
Aug. 10th, 2005 09:00 pm (UTC)
I am impressed! Now tell me, how did run into CB?

tamar
Aug. 14th, 2005 03:46 am (UTC)
i was looking for something entirely different on google and this link was among the first ten results..
fardarrigger
Aug. 10th, 2005 09:55 pm (UTC)
Tamar,
Thanks for sharing that. It's interesting to note that however alone we may feel in our lives, there are others who feel as we do, and resonate when we recognize them...
I also recognize the desert, and feel it's resonance continue to echo within me, within my life. Ripples on a dry lake bed? Ripples that continue on, and on...
I'm laughing, so thanks, I needed that, to see beyond myself, into the world or other worlds that spin in planetary orbits around each other.
Well. Doesn't take me much to get going, does it.
Thanks again for sharing, lots of food for thought there.
Take care
Lauren
tamar
Aug. 14th, 2005 04:01 am (UTC)
big open spaces.. walking or driving for hours and nobody else around.. getting away from it all..
but in a densely populated country like mine there's no chance of that. walking on the beach during really bad weather comes close.. :p
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )